~ Reflection on Self-Care ~
“Self-care is never a selfish act -- it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have,
the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give it the care it requires,
we do so not only for ourselves but for the many others whose lives we touch.”
- Parker Palmer
the gift I was put on earth to offer to others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give it the care it requires,
we do so not only for ourselves but for the many others whose lives we touch.”
- Parker Palmer
Many people think that it’s selfish or self-indulgent to take care of themselves, but this isn’t necessarily true because when we look after ourselves and stay healthy, we can work to benefit others. And if we fail to look after ourselves, not only can we not work to benefit others, we may become a burden because we need to be looked after. When you get on an airplane, there is a good reason the flight attendant tells you to put on your oxygen mask first before helping others.
A well-known environmental activist once told me she felt an obligation to save the world. Like the Greek God Atlas, who carried the earth on his shoulders, she behaved as if she was supporting its entire weight on hers. She was a solo act – taking on every issue and working nearly 24/7. She used to say that she was on the end of a 911 line for the planet. After a few years of frenetic activity, she had a breakdown and was hospitalized. She did not look after herself and eventually others had to look after her. She learned a good lesson and these days, she takes time to look after herself.
Self-care is only selfish and self-indulgent when we put ourselves at the center of concern and ignore the wellbeing of others. If it’s about satisfying our wants and desires because we think we deserve it, then self-care becomes demanding and greedy. But when we look after ourselves so that we can look after others, then it is altruistic and not ultimately about ourselves at all.
We can also think of self-care as part of our responsibility to the environment. We are all made from the earth. Hence, looking after ourselves is one way in which we can look after her. When we look after ourselves and do it without harming the environment, we are fulfilling some of our responsibility to look after the planet.
Looking after ourselves can require self-discipline because it means recognizing our limits. Even though we might not want to acknowledge it, no one can do everything. None of us is superman or superwoman, even if we would like to be. When we listen to the inner wisdom of our bodies and our minds, we can discern what is too much and take a break to look after ourselves. This includes noticing when we need to rest. We all need time to rest, relax and recuperate.
Like letting a field lie fallow, human beings need down time. This doesn’t mean that nothing is happening. Far from it. Just as a fallow field is not inactive, neither is someone taking a break. In a fallow field, micro-organisms are busy breaking down dying and dead material, nutrients in the soil are being replenished and wildlife populations are being restored. Similarly, for human beings lying fallow offers time to reflect and make sense of our lives, replenish our energy and develop creative, new ideas. Looking after ourselves in this way is very healing and helps to build perseverance for the long haul.
One of the best ways to look after ourselves is to have a personal practice. By personal practice, I mean doing something that nourishes your inner self. Meditating, praying, writing a journal, reading poetry, doing tai chi or yoga, for example. I have several regular personal practices that sustain me. One is meditation. Almost every day, I meditate for at least 45 minutes. It’s not a big deal. I just sit in a quiet place, become aware of my breath and pay attention to the sensations, feelings and thoughts in my body and mind.
This simple practice relaxes me and enhances my self-awareness. It connects me with everyone and everything else that is breathing, as well as with all the plants and vegetation that are producing the oxygen I depend on. For me, meditation is one of the most profoundly self-nurturing experiences I know.
Another of my practices is re-connecting with nature. Every day, I try to take a walk outside or spend some time paying attention to the natural world. Even if it’s only for a few minutes, this practice restores me. Like my meditation, it reminds me that I am part of the earth.
Some of my other practices include eating healthy and getting enough sleep - I’m still working on exercise and physical activity. But no-one, including me is perfect!
So please take some time to look after yourself. You’ll be doing yourself and everyone else a favor!
A well-known environmental activist once told me she felt an obligation to save the world. Like the Greek God Atlas, who carried the earth on his shoulders, she behaved as if she was supporting its entire weight on hers. She was a solo act – taking on every issue and working nearly 24/7. She used to say that she was on the end of a 911 line for the planet. After a few years of frenetic activity, she had a breakdown and was hospitalized. She did not look after herself and eventually others had to look after her. She learned a good lesson and these days, she takes time to look after herself.
Self-care is only selfish and self-indulgent when we put ourselves at the center of concern and ignore the wellbeing of others. If it’s about satisfying our wants and desires because we think we deserve it, then self-care becomes demanding and greedy. But when we look after ourselves so that we can look after others, then it is altruistic and not ultimately about ourselves at all.
We can also think of self-care as part of our responsibility to the environment. We are all made from the earth. Hence, looking after ourselves is one way in which we can look after her. When we look after ourselves and do it without harming the environment, we are fulfilling some of our responsibility to look after the planet.
Looking after ourselves can require self-discipline because it means recognizing our limits. Even though we might not want to acknowledge it, no one can do everything. None of us is superman or superwoman, even if we would like to be. When we listen to the inner wisdom of our bodies and our minds, we can discern what is too much and take a break to look after ourselves. This includes noticing when we need to rest. We all need time to rest, relax and recuperate.
Like letting a field lie fallow, human beings need down time. This doesn’t mean that nothing is happening. Far from it. Just as a fallow field is not inactive, neither is someone taking a break. In a fallow field, micro-organisms are busy breaking down dying and dead material, nutrients in the soil are being replenished and wildlife populations are being restored. Similarly, for human beings lying fallow offers time to reflect and make sense of our lives, replenish our energy and develop creative, new ideas. Looking after ourselves in this way is very healing and helps to build perseverance for the long haul.
One of the best ways to look after ourselves is to have a personal practice. By personal practice, I mean doing something that nourishes your inner self. Meditating, praying, writing a journal, reading poetry, doing tai chi or yoga, for example. I have several regular personal practices that sustain me. One is meditation. Almost every day, I meditate for at least 45 minutes. It’s not a big deal. I just sit in a quiet place, become aware of my breath and pay attention to the sensations, feelings and thoughts in my body and mind.
This simple practice relaxes me and enhances my self-awareness. It connects me with everyone and everything else that is breathing, as well as with all the plants and vegetation that are producing the oxygen I depend on. For me, meditation is one of the most profoundly self-nurturing experiences I know.
Another of my practices is re-connecting with nature. Every day, I try to take a walk outside or spend some time paying attention to the natural world. Even if it’s only for a few minutes, this practice restores me. Like my meditation, it reminds me that I am part of the earth.
Some of my other practices include eating healthy and getting enough sleep - I’m still working on exercise and physical activity. But no-one, including me is perfect!
So please take some time to look after yourself. You’ll be doing yourself and everyone else a favor!