Seagull, Steelhead and
​the Human Capacity to Choose
Essay for February 2026

As I walked on the beach below my home this morning, I saw a solitary seagull standing stock-still at the water’s edge. Likely a juvenile, its mottled grey-brown-white plumage blended beautifully with the background - a rock-strewn shoreline, damp sand, and gentle, foamy waves. It all made for a perfectly peaceful scene. But then, in an instant, it all changed as the gull grabbed hold of an unsuspecting steelhead in the shallows. There was a brief struggle, a flash of silver, and in a moment it was all over. One life ended so another could continue.
 
Bearing witness to this violent event, I felt quite unsettled, uncomfortable and upset. Waves of emotion washed through me: compassion for the fish, anger at the gull, a wistful wish that I had not seen what happened. Then, as they ebbed away, I was able to put what I had witnessed into a larger perspective.  
 
It seems to me we human beings are often quick to judge life and to put it into simple, moralistic categories: right and wrong, good and evil, innocent and guilty. Usually, this happens so fast that we are unaware that we are even doing it. But nature does not recognize these human distinctions; it is completely indifferent to them. Despite the carnage I witnessed, the waves kept lapping on the shore, the clouds kept scudding across the sky, and the breeze kept rustling through the sea grasses. Nature offered no judgment or explanation of what had just happened. It expressed no outrage at the gull and no sympathy for the fish. And life continued unconcerned, unmoved and unaffected.  
 
This indifference is not cruel or callous, malicious or heartless, although we humans often interpret it that way. It is simply the nature of life: not personal, not permanent, and not always pretty. The seagull was not guilty of a crime. The fish did not deserve to die. The gull killed the fish simply because she or he was hungry and the fish was present in its perception. This is how nature functions. To take this in and let it settle in our bones is to be invited into a more realistic, and more difficult relationship with life.
 
As human beings, much of our suffering is a consequence of wanting life to be personal, permanent and pretty. We long to be seen as exceptional, special, and unique. We yearn for safety, security, and certainty. We want life to be lovely – all joy and no sorrow, all pleasure and no pain, all gain and no loss. And mostly, we want a world that is moral, fair and just —one that separates the deserving from the undeserving, the kind from the cruel, the good from the bad. And when life does not give us what we want, we suffer experiencing anger, sadness, disappointment and other unpleasant emotions.
 
The truth is that nature does not behave according to human sensibilities. Hurricanes and heatwaves do not detour around the homes of the worthy and the wise. Illness and death do not avoid the bodies of the compassionate and the kind. And hungry seagulls kill steelheads when they see them. This can be challenging to accept. And yet, it contains a strange relief. If we can accept that life is impersonal, impermanent, and not always pretty then we can let go of expecting it to give us what we want, as well as all the difficult emotions that arise when it doesn’t.
 
At the water’s edge, a set of circumstances arose and the inevitable consequences followed. In Buddhism, this is the teaching of dependent origination (paṭicca-samuppāda): That everything naturally arise and pass away according to a vast and interdependent web of causes and conditions. It’s not that any one thing causes something else to happen, rather it is the interactions among many different things. Everything depends on everything else. And understanding this truth can make it easier to accept whatever is happening – whether we like it or not.    
 
The Buddha understood that suffering is inevitably part of human life. At the very least, we human beings experience the suffering of old age, sickness and death. This is not a punishment. It doesn’t mean that something is wrong. It doesn’t mean we are bad. It is simply the natural consequence of having a human body that is subject to the laws of nature.
 
Similarly, we can see the steelhead’s death as inevitable, without adding any judgement or blame to it. Yes, the fish likely felt shock, fear and pain, and its life ended abruptly. These are the facts. But can we let ourselves to know this and to feel it without turning it into a story of good and evil or right and wrong? What happened between the seagull and the steelhead invites to accept life on life’s terms, without adding anything else. This is a subtle spiritual teaching.
 
It's easy to think that the spiritual journey requires us to transcend nature’s rawness and brutality – rising above it all so we can become purer, more refined, and detached from the world. But in my experience, the spiritual journey can often take us deeper into our humanity and deeper into our hearts. When we understand that life feeds on life and that this requires death, we don’t have to become detached or cold-hearted. Quite the opposite, our hearts can open and soften with tenderness.
 
Seeing a seagull kill a steelhead can remind us that our humanity is precious precisely because it allows us to make choices that are not always guaranteed by nature. As human beings, we can choose to be caring and kind, not because these qualities are always evident in the natural world, but because we have the capacity to do so.  
 
This is not to say that our species is unique or superior to others. Rather, it is to acknowledge that humankind has been given the gift of choice. We do not have to live out of our base urges and instincts, reacting automatically to whatever happens. We can choose how we respond to the circumstances of our life. As Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl said “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing:  the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
 
So let us use the gifts we have been given and choose how to respond to life – not reacting automatically or making simple, moralistic judgments but instead coming from kindness, compassion and understanding. This is not diminish or excuse the accountability of those who inflict harm, but it is to recognize that like us, they are living with the web of causes and conditions that led to their actions. 
 
The interaction of the seagull and the steelhead does not ask us to become indifferent to the suffering of others, or to transcend the natural world. Rather, it invites us to see the ground on which our lives are built more clearly. And from that clarity, we can cultivate a more mature compassion that is based on acknowledging life as it truly is.
 
In this way, we can accept the actions of the seagull, even as we grieve the death of the steelhead. We can say “yes” to whatever happens, even as we mourn everything that has been lost. And we can love in a world that often seems cruel and callous simply because we are human beings with the capacity to choose to respond with kindness, compassion and understanding.      

Events

All times are Pacific Time

I am not offering any events in February as I will be on retreat for the month.

Tuesday, March 17 4:00 - 5:15 pm In Person
Healing Circles Langley
Mindfulness Meditation & More

Tuesday, March 31 7:00 - 8:30 pm On Zoom and In Person
Bellingham Insight Meditation Society
Doubt and Discernment
For Zoom link, please email: [email protected]

Tuesday, April 7 4:00 - 5:15 pm In Person
Healing Circles Langley
Mindfulness Meditation & More

Tuesday, April 21 4:00 - 5:15 pm In Person - **RESCHEDULED TO APRIL 28**
Healing Circles Langley
Mindfulness Meditation & More

Tuesday, April 28 4:00 - 5:15 pm In Person
Healing Circles Langley
Mindfulness Meditation & More

Thursday, September 17 7:00 - 8:45 pm on Zoom and In Person
Wise Spirit Buddhist Community Portland, OR
Topic: TBA

Saturday, September 19 9:00 am - 4:00 pm on Zoom and In Person
Portland Insight Meditation Community
Daylong Retreat: The Brahmaviharas and Anatta: Contradiction or Complement?

Friday, November 6 - Thursday, November 12 In Person
Cloud Mountain Retreat Center, WA
Residential retreat (six nights)
Expanding Perception and ReMembering Who We Are...Slowing Down-Sensing-Responding
Co-taught with Ayya Santacitta
More info and registration
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