~ Reflection on Being Curious About the Mind ~
In mindfulness meditation, we get curious whatever is happening in our minds. By gently shining the light of awareness on our thoughts and emotions, we can get to know them and make friends with them.
Often when we are curious about something, we will study or investigate it. We use our intellects to analyze it and try to understand it. We break it down into its constituent parts and try to uncover its causes and its likely consequences in the future.
But mindfulness meditation is quite different. It’s not about the intellect. Rather, it is about looking at our direct experience and seeing what is true in for us on a moment-to-moment basis. We can gently ask ourselves “What is happening right now?” and "What is my experience in this moment?" And not searching for answers by interpreting our experience, giving it a story line, judging or blaming anyone for it, including ourselves, and not getting stuck in it or trying to get rid of it. Simply noticing our direct experience and seeing it as it is. Without anything added - whether it is pleasant or unpleasant. Being curious in this way invites a positive interest in what’s happening, and the focus is on the inquiry itself, rather than on coming up with any answers.
By observing our direct experience like a child might watch clouds in the sky, mindfulness meditation enables us to get a little distance from obsessive thoughts and strong emotions. Being curious about what's happening in our minds interrupts the mental rumination that reinforces itself every time we replay our thoughts and emotions. When we are curious, we aren’t getting caught up in it or feeding them.
A few years ago, I went through a period of feeling down. So rather than telling myself all sorts of stories about how and why I was depressed, I tried to notice my thoughts, emotions and sensations without dwelling on them and without rejecting them. It didn't take long to realize that I had a lot of negative thoughts and emotions about myself and about life in general. I also realized that I was suffering - really suffering - and that when I opened my heart to my own suffering, it got easier to bear.
Gradually and over time, it became easier to hold the distress with kindness and gentleness. In other words, I found myself making friends with my shame, fear, anger and sadness. Instead of trying to get rid of these very unpleasant feelings, I began to try to listen to them and ask them what they wanted. And most often, they told me that they wanted to be acknowledged, accepted and loved. This wasn't an intellectual response; it came from a deeper heart level.
We usually try to avoid difficult thoughts and emotions but when we take the time to hang out with them, get to know them, and listen to them, they can open our hearts to love and kindness towards ourselves and others. By being curious about our minds we can make friends with the unwanted parts of ourselves - our shame, fear, anger and sadness. And by doing this, we cultivate kindness, love and acceptance towards ourselves and towards others.
As the Buddha said:
"Who is your enemy? Mind is your enemy.
Who is your friend? Mind is your friend.
Learn the ways of the mind. Tend the mind with care."
Often when we are curious about something, we will study or investigate it. We use our intellects to analyze it and try to understand it. We break it down into its constituent parts and try to uncover its causes and its likely consequences in the future.
But mindfulness meditation is quite different. It’s not about the intellect. Rather, it is about looking at our direct experience and seeing what is true in for us on a moment-to-moment basis. We can gently ask ourselves “What is happening right now?” and "What is my experience in this moment?" And not searching for answers by interpreting our experience, giving it a story line, judging or blaming anyone for it, including ourselves, and not getting stuck in it or trying to get rid of it. Simply noticing our direct experience and seeing it as it is. Without anything added - whether it is pleasant or unpleasant. Being curious in this way invites a positive interest in what’s happening, and the focus is on the inquiry itself, rather than on coming up with any answers.
By observing our direct experience like a child might watch clouds in the sky, mindfulness meditation enables us to get a little distance from obsessive thoughts and strong emotions. Being curious about what's happening in our minds interrupts the mental rumination that reinforces itself every time we replay our thoughts and emotions. When we are curious, we aren’t getting caught up in it or feeding them.
A few years ago, I went through a period of feeling down. So rather than telling myself all sorts of stories about how and why I was depressed, I tried to notice my thoughts, emotions and sensations without dwelling on them and without rejecting them. It didn't take long to realize that I had a lot of negative thoughts and emotions about myself and about life in general. I also realized that I was suffering - really suffering - and that when I opened my heart to my own suffering, it got easier to bear.
Gradually and over time, it became easier to hold the distress with kindness and gentleness. In other words, I found myself making friends with my shame, fear, anger and sadness. Instead of trying to get rid of these very unpleasant feelings, I began to try to listen to them and ask them what they wanted. And most often, they told me that they wanted to be acknowledged, accepted and loved. This wasn't an intellectual response; it came from a deeper heart level.
We usually try to avoid difficult thoughts and emotions but when we take the time to hang out with them, get to know them, and listen to them, they can open our hearts to love and kindness towards ourselves and others. By being curious about our minds we can make friends with the unwanted parts of ourselves - our shame, fear, anger and sadness. And by doing this, we cultivate kindness, love and acceptance towards ourselves and towards others.
As the Buddha said:
"Who is your enemy? Mind is your enemy.
Who is your friend? Mind is your friend.
Learn the ways of the mind. Tend the mind with care."
